Accomplishments

Just thought I'd throw out a list of accomplishments my hubby and I have succeeded in lately:

• married 1 year, 7 months, and 25 days
• packed up the entire apartment (and I have yet to have any part in the actual moving *woo-hoo*)
• scheduled a weekend get away
• entered my 2nd trimester on Tuesday
• never threw up due to morning sickness, (I think this is HUGE, so its going on the list)
• kicked some butt at ultimate Frisbee, (Josh's to be exact -haha j/k Josh...actually maybe I'm not)
• made it to work on time everyday, this week, but once, (2 minutes shouldn't be considered late)
• finished recording all but two sections of my heart for ministry notes, to the computer, (it takes hours, probably only like one person will understand this accomplishment - Josh)
• dealt with angry customers without sobbing
• played the role of collections lady without freaking out, (of course it is easy to be stern with an answering machine...)
• went to bed on time every night
• progressed into the part of pregnancy when you have ridiculously realistic dreams, (o my stupid, lively imagination!)
• choose a healthy alternative over sugar enriched junk
• amazingly I haven't cleaned anything, (except my self), in over 3 weeks. Dishes don't count because they go in the dishwasher. And before you begin to think I'm a complete slob, we're moving and we don't have to clean, nana-nana-boo-boo!
• stayed away from the Chinese Gender Predictor chart, though I find it fascinating and not knowing what we are having is almost worse than waiting for 9 months to end!
• I didn't do this one, but my brother Garret proposed to his girl Meghan. (she said yes, btw)
  
• Another one I didn't do, but while I'm introducing people who weren't really supposed to be on this list...my littlest brother Adam has his first g/f, (how does that happen? I mean he is so cool and this is his FIRST g/f??? anyways, whoever the chick is, she is a very lucky girl :)
• if I pull back the "flub" on my tummy, you can see the baby bump beginning to POP!!!!

Um yea so I guess that is my list :) Nothing too crazy exciting, but It was an easy way for me to update. Next time I post, I hope to actually have some pictures. I always write while I'm at work sooooo yeah. Maybe I'll try from home next time.

Love to all!

Update!

Ok so I am lame and should've updated this as soon as I found out but....

If any of you read my last post, (which was really a waste of time, sorry if it got any of you down), you would know that I was feeling poopy because I wanted to get away with Josh and didn't see how that would ever happen. As I was typing that message out, I was also texting Josh, letting him know how super sad I was, (and honestly I wasn't trying to manipulate!) Just after I posted that blog, he text me back and said, 'lets go somewhere'. I was like, ' what seriously? Just like that we will go somewhere?' So we called up my mom to see if we could use her time share. She said yes, we were all excited, but then we couldn't find anything near us that was available. So we were bummed again, and started to throw the idea out when Josh said, 'well why don't we just pay to go somewhere else and just not use your Mom's time share?' Again I was like, 'what seriously? Just like that we'll pay to go somewhere and get away?!' We thought about camping, but both of us sort'a cringed at the idea of having to be dirty for 2 1/2 days, ( I know kind'a wierd, but honestly we just wanted to go somewhere already layed out, nice and clean, and bugless). So we searched, I was praying all along, just asking the LORD to give us somewhere to get away to. We wanted to go to Leavenworth, but hotels were running like $169 a night, -um yea ridiculous- or at least, too much for us to spend. We looked around Montana and a little in Oregon, (I love this part of being in Wa. You can actually GO somewhere when you 'get away' :), and finally decided on Sweitzer (Sp?). Actually I don't even know where Sweitzer is. I think Josh said Montana. Anyways its a resort on a mountain with an outdoor pool and shopping and bike trails and free lift tickets so that you can go to wherever the lift takes you...*sigh* I feel so blessed! I just love that God would bless us and actually give us a place to get away too! We both figured that other than going to AK in July, (which really isn't a 'vacation', per say, but more of a 'visit'), we aren't going to get to go anywhere, just the two of us, before the baby is born. Josh begins his internship, with the church, in August and than 4'ish months later we pop out a baby, (or I should say I pop out a baby), and between now and than, this weekend is the ONLY one we could take off to do something.

The fun part will be moving this week before leaving Friday morn. :) But like we keep on telling each other, 'if Nehemiah can build the wall of Jerusalem in 52 days...we can move in a week!' Thank You God for the encouraging stories you have put in the Bible!

I'm so stoked about this weekend coming up! Thank You Lord for giving us this precious gift!

Feeling Sad

I was recently looking at pictures from someone else's honeymoon, and just realized how desperately I want to get away with Josh.

Josh and I went down to San Diego for a week, than hopped on a cruise boat for another 7 days, for our honeymoon. We actually were "hoping" to sneak off to somewhere tropical in January, but that won't happen now. To tell you the truth, I'm really feeling pretty down right now. I'm so tired of Josh and I not seeing each other. I know other women can relate, so I don't want to spend too much time on this subject, (and have my bad attitude to rub off on you).

Honestly I love what we are spending our time on, yet can't there be a little more time in the day so that we can see each other? Ok I'm really feeling like I need to stop talking about this. A friend of mine doesn't seem to ever see her husband, and I never hear her complaining, so I think I should just stop. I just wanted to let out some of my saddness. I know the LORD hears my heart, and He will do whatever is right. Maybe we will get to get away for a weekend. Or maybe my heart will change. In any case, He knows how I am feeling and I'm just gonna' let this go for now.

I know, not really an uplifting post. I figured I should write about something, and since this is heavy on my brain, well its what gets written.

Love you all!

Just a thought...

This lovely little blurb was sent to me via. e-mail and I just thought, would I really want to do this?

"Record your weight and waistline each week
Be sure to record your weight and waistline measurements each week in your journal to track the amazing changes your body will go through in the next few months. Keep track of those roller coaster feelings, too. They will make you smile, years from now."

I like how they speak so positively about gaining weight. You just don't hear that very often :)

I mean maybe I would want to if my expanding belly were due to a baby growing too big for my mid-section. But as of right now, I think I would just get upset, haha!
All last night I kept rubbing my belly 'cause its already sticking out. Unfortunately I know its not because a baby is pushing up, but its more then likely; A) bloating, B) water weight, or C) whatever else my body is doing these days. Actually I have been thinking about this...I have an obviously short waist. So I know that whenever I put on a 'little' weight in my mid-section, it looks like a ton. I always figured this was because being a short waisted person, the fat only has so much area to spread out over. So if that is true, could it be that I would be showing sooner than maybe a long waisted person? I have no scientific proof to prove this, but honestly, my belly really is sticking out significantly further than it was before I was pregnant. You can even ask Josh, he pats and rubs my belly now :)
Anyways that is all I wanted to say for now. I know its short, but it was a thought I had that I felt like sharing with the world, (or at least the handful of you that read this ).
Blessings to all!

Amazed by God

This I have read from the LORD's word today. And this is what I've learned of His deep deep love for His children.

I picked up my bible to read Psalms. A while ago I decided to read through them, one by one, on a daily basis. Until yesterday, when I returned to reading them again, I had been very slack in keeping up with my decision. I reread yesterday's Psalm, (Ps. 39), and proceeded to Ps. 40 for today. A verse in there, that I had previously highlighted, caught my attention, as the verse was kind've confusing to me. It reads;

"Then I said, 'Behold, I come;
In the scroll of the book it is written of me.
I delight to do Your will, O my God;
Your Law is within my heart.'" Ps. 40:7&8

This is a Ps. by David, so what perplexed me was why David would be writing such a profound statement about himself. I know David to be a regular man, just like I am a regular woman, so I wondered what scroll he could possibly be talking about.
After finishing the Ps., and soon forgetting these verses, I noticed I had still enough time to read something from the N.T.
Last night Pastor Ken mentioned Hebrews 1, and though I couldn't recall why he did, I did remember that because of what he said, I wanted to read it. I worked my way through Heb. 1, (mind you it is not a book I usually or even recently have turned to), and because of some of the inner struggles of my heart, I read more of Heb. I decided what to read by looking over the sub-titles given throughout the chapters. I read a few verses and a couple paragraphs and was about to close up my bible when this sub-title stuck out to me, "One Sacrifice of Christ is Sufficient". I probably would have never taken a second look except that during worship we sang "It is Well With My Soul'', (again, not a usual worship song we sing). One line of that song spoke powerfully to my heart, and filled me with such overwhelming gratitude for my Savior. It's the line that says, "My sin, not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more". In all the hurt and confusion of my heart, I knew one thing to be undeniably true, my sin, not in part but in whole, has been nailed to the cross and I bear it no more! In this I found the freedom and joy to truly worship my Savior, despite whether I felt like it or not. Being reminded of this blessed time of worship, the sub-title for Heb. seemed of particular interest to me.
Reading down chapter 10, I came to verse 7;

"Then I said, 'Behold I have come
(In the scroll of the book it is written of Me)
To do Your will, O God'."

(These being capitalized words referring to Christ speaking of Himself.)
I had to do a double take. I said, "'Really God?" Flipping back to Ps. 40:7&8 I read the same words! Then I said, "You really want to be that personal with me?" And with that thought came a continuous chorus of, "Thank You! Thank You!", and many tears of relief.
I have been feeling really kind of lost of God. I have felt as though I know He is real and powerful, but I have not felt the intimacy of His nearness. Even late last night, as Josh and I were reading our Night Light devotional, it asked how we have seen the power of prayer. I honestly had no answer. Yes I pray, yes I believe God will answer those prayers, for I know He hears them. But to actually remember a time where God's hand personally came down and did a miracle before my eyes, I could not remember the last time. And than with one fail swoop, He reached down and touched my weary heart.
This is my response to His goodness to me:

Thank You my heavenly Father! Thank You for knowing and hearing my heart, and encouraing me this day!
I love you God I love you I love you!
Thank You Holy Spirit for guiding and directing my path. I know You were preparing me for something marvelous, and this is certainly marvelous!
I love You LORD! My God, My King!
You have refreshed and renewed my weary heart!

As with most of my posts, or at least parts of them, I hope that today this encourages you in some way. It might seem like a small thing to come across these scriptures, and to tell you the truth, I haven't even looked again to see what they are actually saying. It's just the fact that my God wanted to be near to me today, that He wanted to encourage my weary heart, that He lead me through a rough season to bring me to a place of utter gratitude and humility...for these reasons I am in 'Awe' of His compassion. He saw His child hurting, and in the last few minutes of her quiet time, came to her in a personal way and gave her hope. Isn't He amazing?

Since its been 2 months and 1 day...

...since my last blog, I figured I'd actually come back to this little place and write something, hopefully of interest to someone :)

How about we begin with the fact that I am, um pregnant! Yep and pretty much everyone who'll read this already knows that. But lets pretend for a minute that I just found out and am telling you for the first time. That way it will be like we are sharing in *the moment* once again. I don't know why we would do that, but I feel rather lame for not writing about finding out, when I did. I mean, don't most women do that? As in a way of concreting all the excitement and emotions that come with finding out great and big news? Maybe I'll be better about blogging when we find out the sex of the baby. Since we're sort of on the topic, and I've always been curious about this...lets take a poll; do you or do you not like it when you find out great and exciting news over something like an Internet blog? (I'll vote first, since I'm sitting here while the question is being asked), I LOVE finding out stuff over avenues like people's personal blogs, or web accounts like facebook/myspace! I mean seriously, do I even get on here to do anything other than to check up on the happenings of my friend's lives? Nope I really don't. Which is probably obvious since I don't ever blog. (Now here is the truth, if you blogged everyday, well shoot I'd be signing in just to check out what you had to say! But if I sign on and no one has written anything about their life, more than likely I'll sign off and that's the extent of my Internet use for the day. In other words, you ladies blogging about your lives *inspires* me to write about my own. With out your *inspiration*, I don't write anything. And apparently that's because I don't possess any *inspiration* of my own. Now did that *inspire* any of you to blog? :) Its almost like a nonchalant guilt trip, except I'm not that conniving, so it isn't.

I sure hope I haven't lost you so far.

Anyways that wasn't the direction I was planning on going when I got here. What I ACTUALLY wanted to write about was how I found out I was pregnant, (and how Josh found out too)....

It all started when I missed my 'you know what'. The thing is, Josh and I had wanted to start 'trying', but after 2 months we both decided that I should go back on birth control, (there is a good reason, but I don't wanna get into it now. Ask me later if you are interested). I took two days worth of the pill, and than expected to see my period. Well since taking BC at any random time during the month can throw your cycle off a few days I thought nothing of missing Mr. tom. I needed some blood flow regulators (i.e. tamps - sorry to any guy that is reading this, I'm trying to be as modest as possible) and since the pregnancy tests are on the same aisle...I picked one up. Those being the only two items I was purchasing, I commented to the cashier that the blood flow regulators were back up, in case the test came out negative (I don't know why, but I just felt like I had to give an explanation for buying only those two things). Anyways I went home, took the test and WHOA! Instantly my eyes began to fill with tears. I just kept staring at it going 'no way! no way!' I was crying like a little kid who just couldn't get enough air in to counteract his hyperventilating, and walking quickly through the house, back and forth saying 'no way! no way!' I was so glad Josh wasn't there, cause there is no way he would've understood my reaction. I didn't even understand my reaction! I don't know why I was crying, it wasn't like overwhelming tears of joy. I think it was more like my body going through shock or somethin. I mean what do you think when you find out your pregnant, and even though you were planning on it, it still totally takes you by surprise? Yea I pretty much just didn't know how to react. By the time Josh came home from youth group, I had cleaned up the whole apt, put a clean white table cloth on the table, wrapped up the test in a Christmas tin, and turned on the Christmas lights that were still up. I also set up the camcorder so that I could catch his reaction on film. I haven't watched it to see how well it caught everything, but man o man I hope it got his smile! On the top of the Christmas tin I put one of those 'To: From:' stickers and wrote 'To: my love for life From:your wife - Merry Christmas'. Needless to say he was pretty confused. He was like 'why am I opening a Christmas present in April?' I told him I had gotten it for him when I was at the store and was *so excited* about it that I couldn't wait for Christmas to give it to him. His reaction was nicer than mine. He didn't cry and pace around like a crazy person. He laughed and smiled with abundant joy, it was like our wedding day all over. He also kept saying 'wow! wow!', which I think was also much better than my disbelieving 'no way! no way!' Everyday he tells me how excited he is to be a daddy and I can't express enough how grateful I am for such a man :D

I know I wrote a lot, (again), but I just really really wanted to get down this incredible experience. I'm sure I want forget it, but there is something so fun about coming back, at some point in the future, and reading things like this. It's like how the Israelites set up rock monuments to 'never forget' what God had done for them in different circumstances of their lives. I guess that really is what this blog is for me. It is a a mound of rocks, a monument that I can return to and read, and remember the goodness of the LORD. I hope it brings some smiles to your faces too :)

And with that all said, I sign off to go on to do something probably not nearly as fun as blogging, but needs to be done nonetheless.

Toodles!

What an interesting week this has been.

All week long I have been fighting with deep feelings of discontentment with my jobs.

Awhile back a man at church was talking to Josh and I and mentioned that he would soon be looking for a secretary. Josh instantly said something along the lines of, "Audra you should do it!" And I replied to him, "Why? I like my jobs why would I quit?" Needless to say, Josh was kind'a confused why I wouldn't want the job he thought sounded so exciting.

Time passed, and a couple Sunday's ago our buddy Joe was walking by and said, "Hey Aaron is looking for you two and wants to know if Audra is still interested in that secretary position?" Again Josh became extremely excited and looked at me with a big smile. I looked back at him with a largely sarcastic grin. And again I thought to myself, I never wanted that job in the first place. why would I want that job? I like my jobs and so if I like them, why would I even consider something else? Josh and I have the same schedule, I only work a few hours a day, all is super great with how it is right now!

Last Sunday (so 5 days ago) Josh and I got into the car after church, and before we were home he told me that we needed to talk about something that I didn't want to talk about. Immediately I thought, he is going to ask me to quit working, again (he has been asking me to quit for a little while now. But we talked and he said that it made sense that I work while we didn't have children for me to tend to. So I thought that was all figured out). I knew it couldn't be him telling me he was ready for children, so he wanted me to consider offing my birth control, ('cause that was another topic of previous discussion). So I waited patiently 'till we were home. Then over a big, (and I mean cookie sheet big), thing of nachos Josh shared his heart with me.

He said he felt very confidently that God wanted me to quit working as a barista and work as a secretary for Aaron's company. I was kind've surprised, it wasn't what I was expecting, and again my instant reaction was "well I don't want to". But at the same time I knew that if this truly was God (and I have no reason to believe my husband would use God as a way of manipulating me into doing something) telling Josh this, that God would tell me the same thing. I told him I would pray and see if God confirmed the same thing to me, though I still just couldn't imagine quitting. And Guess what God did? He confirmed it. I looked for His answer in so many places, and it wasn't until praying with Barb at our church that God showed me the answer would only come through my submitting to my husband. Until this very moment, as I write this, I didn't think he had confirmed anything in me. I now realize that He has answered my requests of Him to give me the same confidence as Josh, through my discontent heart at work. I mean this week has been excruciatingly difficult to get through. I have been late to work everyday, to both jobs. I have been frustrated with little things, upset with customer's attitudes, and even judging and thinking I don't want to help them because they are like ____ fill in the blank. Whatever I could come up with, for a reason to not want to serve them, I did.

So today I broke the news to the bosses. They took it really well, and even though I turned about twenty shades red I am glad I told them. I'm praying for Louise, one of the bosses. She is pretty much all by herself at her shop. I mean, I am the only other employee, and she needs at least one person to do what she has me do. I had the opportunity to pray with her the other day (off topic, but an awesome one and the next one I am going to!)

She is overwhelmed with her husband's health problems and work issues and money and and and....the list probably goes on. I knew I should pray with her, but boy I was nervous! God gave the wide open opportunity though, and I think today we saw it answered. I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself just yet, since she hasn't made the necessary phone calls to see whether or not this is the answer to prayer. But if it is, wow God moved fast! I hope it is the answer! Before we prayed I told her that I have seen God answer prayers really quickly when I pray with someone (not to mean that I have anything to do with the reason their prayer is answered. But I think God has been wanting to show He hears our prayers. and what better way to confirm that He does, other than that there is a witness to testify that that is true?) Her response was "yea sometimes"...with a very heavy heart and doubt in her voice. It saddened me. I know that its true that God doesn't answer every prayer right away, but this poor woman's heart is so heavy she finds it hard to believe He still hears her at all. I do hope that today her prayer was answered! What a testimony it would be huh?!

O my I tried to not write so much. I just couldn't help myself. I think I like to describe things in too much detail. If I wanted to go back and proof read the last story I told you, o the details I would try squeezing in there! But I won't! I will just send this out, after spell check does its job, and let it fly :) Or something like that.

Much love and many blessings! Don't give up praying to the LORD for all that is on your heart! He hears every prayer of one of His children, and He LOVES to astound us with His answers. Quick or not, He always answers them.