If I had to choose a favorite book of the Bible, or at least of the New Testament, I would choose Romans. I've heard it called, 'The mini Bible', because it has basically everything you would need to know about the Law of the O.T., as well as the grace offered through the New Covenant.
A couple of years ago Josh and I had the extreme privilege to study the book of Romans under a bible scholar. Of course he didn't go to school to become a bible scholar, but by God's divine ordination, he is indeed a learned student of the scriptures. When we first began the study I had asked him, "What keeps you so into reading the Bible?" At the time I was going through a hard season of disinterest with the Word, yet his undying love to study and know the scriptures played on the lonely notes of my heart. He told me, "There is so much in this book - I am fascinated by it". He also said that there is so much that the more he learns, the more he realizes he doesn't know. He was into digging real deep to discover the meanings, understand the culture and how it influenced the writer's writing, hear and know God's heart, and to reciprocate that to his brother's and sister's in Christ. He was, (and I hope still), PASSIONATE about the word and reading it.
God richly blessed me that summer. During the long study of Romans He impassioned my heart with His word too. I had no idea the Bible had so much in it for me personally! I was overwhelmed by God's grace as He poured out his Spirit and let me understand the hard writings of the book of Romans.
Since then my passion for the word has had it's ups and downs. The cares and worries of this life can so easily carry us believers away, but for this reason I rejoice in Romans chapters 7 and 8. If anyone understood the struggle of flesh against spirit it was the author of the book, Paul. I know this is true because although Paul was an incredibly godly man, his flesh and spirit still fought it out on a daily basis. The last half of Romans 7 is all about the "conflict of two natures" (as my Bible puts it), and whoa what a conflict it is! My spirit joyfully concurs with the Holy Spirit on all matters good, pure, and righteous. But my flesh is a devilish character, constantly combating the will of the Spirit in it's desires to do good, by 'looking out for number 1', playing the role of the disobedient nature, and down right evil in all it's intentions.
It is a weary battle.
And then the end of chapter 7 reads, "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" Can't you just hear the desperation in his exclamation? Often when I read this I just automatically exchange the word man for woman, 'Wretched woman that I am!', and the thought continues, 'How can I say I am a Christian when I am so selfish with my time? Or when I am so lazy with my house hold duties? Or when I am preaching the message 'read your bibles and pray every day!', and yet how often do I actually do that myself' Oh the temptation to become overwhelmed by these thoughts is strong. But Paul, understanding the deep love, compassion, and grace of the Father does not end Chapter 7 on this despairing note.
"Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" I can almost hear it as if Paul were shouting it from the top of the mountains - there is that much freedom in this sentence. In modern terms I think it would go something like this, "Because of Jesus I do not have to be bound up by my sinful flesh! I am FREE to not feel guilty, to not mope about as though I have let God down, I am FREE to enjoy Him because I am a wretch and He knows that and still He wants to be with me!' O sweet freedom!
Then chapter 8 begins, "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." And with those words my heart lets out a giant sigh of relief.
It is my daily struggle to be reminded of that truth, and not become overwhelmed with guilt of not being a "better" Christian. Yet if I am humble to come before Him and express my wretchedness with complete sincerity, He is faithful to bring these things to remembrance.
Awe the Book of Romans, where would I be with out you?
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